What’s your company Christmas party typically like? Let’s see if you can relate to my previous experiences.
Awkward conversation, with colleagues thrown together like they’re BFFs even though they were just trash-talking each other that morning around the water cooler
People consuming a few too many strong beverages to the point where they utterly embarrass themselves, thus providing even more fodder for the office gossip train to gain steam
And then there’s always those people you want to avoid like the plague because, drinks or no drinks, they’re too handsy, too belligerent, too arrogant, too chirpy, too fake, too desperate or too gossipy.
Plus, there are the awkward speeches, the awkward videos, the awkward awards and the awkward company gifts. Considering how much I can’t stand awkward, that’s simply not my kind of party, as Facebook reminded me the other day by sharing this memory from 2013:
Today is going to rock!!! Why? Because it’s my company Christmas party that I’m not going to and therefore have a half-day all to myself. Whoo hoo hoo!!!!
Now, admittedly, I did eventually get a talking to for not participating in such exercises of awkwardness. Apparently, these company Christmas parties were all about building up team morale and comradery (read: brainwashing), and I shouldn’t at all feel embarrassed by seeing a video of my CEO starring in one of the most painful skits I’ve ever seen, complete with her 95-pound dyed-blond self claiming to be a rap aficionado and trying to prove it…
Or listening to my boss crying to the whole assembled company about how much she appreciates one of her underlings, who lets herself get taken advantage of every single week by coming in early, staying late and bringing work home on the weekends, all for a salary that’s probably under $45,000…
Or listening to my editorial colleagues try to prove that they’re as “cool” as marketing. Which, they’re not. Editors rarely are. I’ll be the first person to admit it.
Fortunately, I’ve come up with the perfect solution to avoiding the awkward company Christmas party: Start my own one-woman business!
Running Innovative Editing full-time this year has been an absolute dream in the PR department. I haven’t had to worry about office politics. Or making friends at work with normal people, only to see them get let go for no good reason or quit because they can’t handle being taken advantage of anymore.
My boss hasn’t actively ignored me for four days straight, only breaking that silence because she brought a new editor onto the team – and heaven forbid she gives the impression that we’re not one big happy editorial family!
And I definitely didn’t have to worry about attending the company Christmas party. Not one featuring awkward conversation, opportunities for future trash-talking and Ben Affleck acolytes, anyway.
My company Christmas party involved great company (my computer), great conversation (by my manuscript characters) and absolutely no awkward videos or speeches (maybe I’ll do one of those next year).
But for now, here’s a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all from Innovative Editing! Here’s hoping wonderful writing experiences, riveting reading adventures, lots of family and hot chocolate…
And absolutely no awkward company Christmas party to attend this year.